Recovery Dharma Raleigh

A lot of us were alone in our addiction. Isolation was a way to hide the full scope of our use, to reduce the perceived stigma so that loved ones and others close to us wouldn’t notice. I have very bad anxiety, and being around people is stressful for me. When I was drinking and doing drugs, it was a way for me to escape the way I was feeling and withdraw from society. I only interacted with others socially to get drugs or when I had obligations.

When I started recovery, one of my main thoughts was: What am I going to do instead? I couldn’t imagine living without alcohol and drugs. It took over all the things I used to do to enrich myself. Playing music, woodworking, reading, it all went away and I spent my free time either under the influence, or looking for the things I needed to get there. I spent a lot of energy doing this while trying to take care of my other responsibilities in life.

I resolved to spend more time around people than I used to. I got the idea to try doing all the things I normally wouldn’t do. I grew my hair long after having it short, started spending more time being active and working on my hobbies instead of watching TV or movies, started spending more time around others. I probably haven’t reached a healthy level of interaction, but it’s a lot better than it used to be and I’m going to try working on it.

When I started my IOP program and attended later recovery groups, I was surprised to hear my experiences and feelings coming from people I’ve never met. I felt hope when I met others who had significant time in sobriety. It made me realize I could be one of those people. There was life outside of my addiction.

I was very hesitant to share my stories and emotions with others, but it became a good tool to start myself on a practice of self-reflection with the goal of improving the way I lived. I got to hear the way others got through their day and started to find ideas of things to try. The more involved I got, the more I understood why I did things and how to find a path to get myself out of the mode of thinking I had.

Going to H&Is to share my experiences with Recovery Dharma and chairing meetings is still something I enjoy. I’m not very skillful in speaking about myself or my experiences, but it’s very valuable to my recovery. I use my time chairing to speak about the latest thing I’m thinking about and to hear the experience of others. I can’t see things if I have the blindfold of isolation on myself. You don’t know what you don’t know.

I’ve gotten indirect guidance from people who were not meaning to give advice. I’ve been supported when I relapsed, congratulated when I achieved a milestone, and inspired from the experience of others. I feel like I belong somewhere.

Isolation was dangerous during my addiction and continues in my recovery. Being part of a community keeps me accountable and provides me with sources of inspiration of things I can do to better myself.

What is your experience with community and socialization when you started on your recovery journey?

How do you work to maintain healthy relationships?

What kinds of inspiration have you drawn from others?