What does stability mean to you? To me, it’s an on-going process where I try to deprogram myself from the habits I build up over years of dependence on alcohol and drugs.
I’ve only been in recovery for 5 years, and I slowly had to realize this wasn’t a sprint towards some end-goal, but a change in how I thought about myself. How nice would it be if you could one day just say, I’m cured! That sucked ass.
But, that’s not the case and instead, I’m working towards an ideal self where I’m not susceptible to relapse and I’m content in my own skin. It’s difficult at times, but I feel a real joy knowing that I’m doing this to better myself and improve my relationships.
One concept I liked from AA was emotional sobriety. I feel like I’m out of the initial stages of physical cravings for alcohol and drugs and now am in the maintenance stage of learning how to regulate my emotions and actions.
Self-awareness and introspection are two things I’m trying to nurture. These are things I never spent a single minute on before unless I was beating myself up for my past actions.
I relapsed a few times, but each time, I was able to bounce back faster and adjust my thinking and habits to prevent myself from succumbing to my addictions. It feels like I’ve been dialing in my sobriety over time.
When I’m having a hard time with emotions or situations, I’m able to detach a bit more easily so I can think and not react. This is a huge thing after acting on instinct for so long.
I did many things to improve my thinking and help myself cope. I started addressing my thinking and behavior with therapy and psychiatric help. I’ve given myself homework to work through a specific step in the 8-fold path for a week or so. I’ve started communicating more with my wife so she knows how I’m doing instead of shoving it down.
What kind of things do you do to nurture stability in your life?
What tools or behaviors have you tried that surprised you or were more effective than you thought it would be?
Any routines you have now that help in your journey?
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